K.I.L. Team

  Now was the time. PMB and I were code named the Korean Infiltration Leader team, or K.I.L. team for short. Puppymonkeybaby joined the force three years ago, just after my internship turned into actual employment. We both started as field agents and were quickly placed together. They called me Bull-Moose Party because of my distant relation to Teddy Roosevelt and in part because I look like him. We had now been tasked with dismantling the nuclear situation in North Korea.
  PMB deployed just before me, right above Kijong-Dong. We had received intel that Kim had been using the location as a front for an underground nuclear sight. I grabbed my parachute with a BMP embroidered on the lip, strapped in my .50 cal revolver, and followed suit. It was nighttime and our stealth bomber was nearly invisible. We swiftly descended to the ground and met no opposition. PMB pulled his heat sensing goggles out of his diaper and placed them on his muzzle. He always wore a pink bow on his tail for these missions. He said it gave him good luck. He was easily the greatest agent I'd ever seen.
  After routine checks of a few of the buildings, we found one by the crappy Eiffel Tower rip-off with an elevator. It asked for a key card but PMB ripped out the device and it took us down promptly. Th elevator was see-through so we got a good look at the facility as we descended. There were hundreds of men armed with rocket launchers and hazmat suits. There were three large battle mechs at the far end and a large straight walkway to the control panel for a massive warhead. I knew that we'd have to fight our way through them some way or another.
  I turned to PMB to tell him we should be stealthy but he jumped through the glass before I could. I knew I couldn't let him go in alone so I had to jump out after him. There were flashing lights all over the place. It looked like a silver disco club decorated with a nuclear holocaust. PMB killed seven soldiers before I even hit the ground. They noticed us rather swiftly and began firing missiles at us. Puppymonkeybaby pulled out his gatling gun and began stopping the projectiles mid-flight. I also stopped quite a few with my revolver. After a swift period, we had slain all of the rocket goons.
  Then, not even a split second later, one hundred ninjas appeared from various vents and corridors. PMB and I began sprinting to the missile. He was grabbing swords and slaying ninjas left and right with his inhuman agility, whereas I had to rely on my vastly over sized handgun. The ninjas almost overtook us but PMB finally used his laser vision and finished them off. The ninjas scattered the floor from end to end. Then they began beeping. Every single one was a bomb. PMB activated his super speed and defused all one hundred of the bombs before they could detonate.
  That is when the mechs activated. They were each twelve feet tall and mounted with a gatling gun and rocket launcher. They formed a defensive perimeter around the hundred foot missile. PMB was about to pounce when they all began to move together. They met in the center of the pathway and formed a ring. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Kim Jung-Un himself jumped into the middle of the robots. He was easily ten feet tall himself with a stomach the size of a smart car. He was wearing nothing but a sumo belt bearing the North Korean flag. He extended his arms to either side and fused with the robots. He turned into a twenty foot, mechanized, Korean, ninja, pig. He spawned two eight foot katanas and charged.
  PMB jumped up and pulled his six foot katana from his diaper and engaged the brute. I began running around to the back of the beast but the samurai-like armor seemed to have no weak spots. PMB was holding his own like Yoda fighting Dooku. He was flipping and spinning and cutting. I began firing my Revolver into a small chink under Kim's right arm. The giant began to cry out in pain as PMB followed up by chopping off the ligament. We had gained the upper hand. The robot began trying to step on me out of desperation and I lost my rounded glasses in the tussle.
  Then he picked me up and I thought all was lost. PMB jumped onto his head and stabbed straight down. The body grew limp and fell to the floor. We had won. I ran over and set the bomb to detonate without launching and we climbed out. PMB activated his pocketcopter as we ran and we flew. I heard the explosion in the distance as a single tear fell out of my eye. We sang the "Star Spangled Banner" all the way home.